Where do we go from here?

While I was on vacation in California last week, came to know that a distant relative of mine died in a car accident, car got crushed under truck. I can't recall meeting him, but remember his name as we've the same name. He's survived by wife and children. Even though I don't know him, there're these rush of thoughts about his family. They'll survive but it wouldn't be the same as he was alive. Our life is so fragile and uncertain. As Benjamin Franklin once said, only things certain things in life are death and taxes. But we're constantly worried and shocked by mortality.

This accident happened in wee hours, I wonder what could he and other people in car might be doing. Could be listening to music or some conversation. What would I be doing. listening to music or NPR. And may be thinking about work, Disaster Recovery Prep, pending projects, meetings. As you know, I'm single, so I don't have kinda responsibilities, worries which men of my age would have. So we'll be thinking about mundane things and a truck hits you. All the planning and thoughts and trivial things which irritate us or missed deadlines/prospects don't matter any more.

We're one of the 7.4 billion people on this earth. 151,600 people die each day. A single death would be so inconsequential to this world. but it would be devastating to people who you leave behind. One of my uncles died at very young age 3 years ago. he had two young children. I met his father (my grandfather's cousin) who's in his late 70s now. Sitting next to him and talking to him, my heart sank. He's staring into sky with teary eyes. He's at age where he couldn't comprehend the whole thing but he knew that his younger son passed away. Could it be blessing or a bane.

As obvious as it when we read something like this in news or on tv, our empathy goes down. I see gofundme requests on social networking sites, and I can barely prod myself to donate to each of them even though they're like us. Is it just me or everyone feeling numb to these. Strange thing is well know celebs (talented) generate more RIP posts than when 100s of people die every day in Syria, in south-side of Chicago or because of gun violence. We have empathy only if it's mass killing in USA or for fair skin people abroad. If it's Africa, we're not so bothered. 

A boy holds his baby sister who survived an airstrike in Aleppo Feb. 14. Reuters Photo

Syrian refugee camp, Feb'14.Guardian photo

We rarely hear anything articulate from a person who knew about their mortality. But recently I read about Dr. Paul Kalanithi, who got diagnosed with  stage-4 non-small-cell

Dr. Kalanithi with his daughter

EGFR-positive lung cancer. He initially asked his wife to remarry as his death is imminent, then he recovered, decided to have kid and eventually he died.

What's unique about him is he's a doctor who sees mortality as part of the job and he knew he's gonna die and then he became a father. So he's at this juncture of life where his offspring is born and he's about to die and he know the probability. And his daughter isn't old enough to realize the impending death of her father and she wouldn't remember any time she spent with her father when she grows up.
A normal person would've hope to survive, but a doctor might consider it as false hope or even denial. So the hope can't over power the medical probability. His ability to write, gave him an outlet. 

Even though that video was slickly edited ad for promotion of his book, it was touching. Particularly his joy in holding his daughter while being aware of his days being numbered, is a heart touching visual. When my grandfather passed away 3 years ago, I'd this sadness which took sometime to get over. He didn't suffer, but it's a sudden demise. When I visited home for the ceremonies and all, It crossed my mind that people find solace in children. the new generation brings the joy which might help you overcome the sadness caused  by death of the older generation

I'm not gonna pretend that I'm in quest of meaning of life or some meta philosophy. But this is one of the often quoted verse from Bhgavadgeeta. Lord Sri Krishna says to Arjuna

jatasyahi dhruvo mrityur dhruvam janma mrutasya cha
tasmad apiriharye’rthe na tvam shochitum arhasi.

పుట్టినవానికి మరణం తప్పదు, మరణించిన వానికి జననము తప్పదు

అనివర్యమగు ఈ విషయము గూర్చి సొకింప తగదు.

This loosely translates to this. For certain is death to the born and certain is the birth for the dead. Therefore you should not grieve about the inevitable.

But few deaths are unjust by any measure. If you're one of those people who say everything happens for reason, how can you reason with the casualties in last years Nepal earth quake or people who died in Bangladesh clothing factory in 2013. I believe in God and pray, but I've cognitive dissonance about this. If God is kind, why is there so much suffering in the world. Life of a kid born in rich suburbs of Chicago can be predictable. But life of another kid born in Afghanistan on same day will be so unpredictable. He/she can be killed by drone, malnutrition, suicide attack, the list is endless. We don't need to go to Afghanistan for this comparison. For kids born in Chicago area, the life expectancy vary so much based on the zip code they're born in.

Another verse from Bhagavad Gita

karmanye vadhikaraste, ma phaleshou kada chana,

ma karma phala hetur bhurmatey sangostva akarmani

కర్మలను ఆచరించుటయందె నీకు అధికారము కలదు కాని, వాని ఫలితమున పైన లేదు

నీవు కర్మ ఫలమునకు కారణం కారాదు, అట్లని కర్మలను చేయుట మానరాదు

You have the right to perform your actions, but you are not entitled to the fruits of the actions.

Do not let the fruit be the purpose of your actions, and therefore you won’t be attached to not doing your duty.

Whether you believe in God or not, this applies for all of us. Even though our existence is so uncertain & flimsy and depends on so many variables, we can't be idling and  worrying about it. We need to do our tasks and move forward. Got to go to work, eat food, earn that raise, save money, life goes on. 

While thinking about all this, I'd a retrospective. 10 years ago I was in Minnesota, I didn't have a plan on what I wanted to be or where I wanted to be. Here I'm in Chicago and friends are nearby. so much has changed and so much has remained the same. Where do I go from here, I don't know.

Life is what happens to you while you’re busy making other plans. 

                                           - John Lennon, 'Beautiful Boy' 1980

O Son, Where Art Thou?

In Guntur, in the 80s if your son, sibling, uncle or even if your neighbor had moved to USA it's a proud thing. In early 90s it became a norm and by late 90s and 2000s it's expected that young man or woman would go to USA. This change can be attributed to many reasons. Corruption, lack of opportunities due to reservations in India, Y2K/dot com boom and the sudden rise in the engineering college graduates.

IT boom and social mobility, migration caused by it had put Andhra Pradesh on the world map. But slowly and clearly it's changing the demographics, as young people are leaving state just as they turn voters and their vote goes unused. I can't predict the long term impact but this change might appear more precipitous in the next few years.

China is trying some sort of social engineering by moving 250 million people from villages to Cities. What's happening in our state now isn't forced migration, more of voluntary or need based. Make no mistake, 73% of Telugu speaking people still live in Andhra Pradesh only. But young, educated people are leaving the state in droves, that'll impact.the legislature, government and society over the long term.

I left country as 22 year old, for me this was the obvious path. My uncles and aunt paved the way and set the expectation, so there's no other alternative. That's how 20s would be, no second thoughts. 30s make you mull over past and think about future. Wonder what 40s will do. I haven't thought about this issue, until I was 28. When I went to India for my sister's engagement, one of the guests asked me, where I live. After I mentioned NJ, he jokingly said, అందరు అమెరికాకి వెళ్ళిపోతే, కొన్నాళ్ళకి ఇంక మన కులం వాళ్ళు స్టేట్లొ ఎవరు ఉండరేమో.(Don't be offended by caste reference. In India when it comes to caste, they don't beat around bush) His casual remark then, sounds very prescient now.

My native village Paluvayi, Guntur Dt. December 2009

Young people moving out of home towns for better jobs is a universal phenomena. But AP is in a peculiar position, as it's churning out the highest number of engineering graduates. Obviously they can't all find jobs in their town or state. they're moving wherever their next academic choice or job is, it could be neighboring state or USA. US DoS opened Hyderabad consulate as most of the applicants showing up at Chennai are from AP. We don't keep many statistics, but you can get a rough estimate of how many Telugu speaking people live in USA compared to rest of Indians. As per 2010 census, 2,843,391 Indians or of Indian ethnicity live in USA. As per another rough estimate 1 million of them are Telugu speaking. So 1/3rd of diaspora is from AP (I sourced these from Wikipedia, better estimates are welcome). Why look at statistics, when you can find it at your workplace in USA. Most of the time Telugu people constitute 50% of Indian workforce in IT. Point I want to make prove is, other states aren't losing young people like us.

OK Telugu people have the mobility, that's not a problem. Problem is, this migration to abroad isn't across the board, This is more predominant among upper middle class, upper caste (as designated by government) families from Krishna, Guntur, Godavari districts, predominantly from Coast and of course around Hyderabad. From my personal perspective, snapshot of my first cousins also gives the same picture. In my generation (born between 80 and early 90s) we're 13 first cousins (maternal & paternal) altogether. Out of 13, 3 of us are in USA, 5 are living in Hyderabad, 2 are working outside of AP and only 3 live in Guntur District. Considering the fact that Hyderabad is gonna be part of Telengana, only 3 out of 13 are in state. That's 23%. Not just my extended family, most of the friends with whom I went to college, are outside the state or abroad. Only people who took over family businesses stayed back.

I and most of the friends who left country along with me @ 21 or 22 had never voted (officially) in India. Many of the new grads in early 20s might not've utilized their voting right in last election as they're outta state or country. Those votes might've tilted results in many constituencies. Now, that imbalance will be even more as Hyderabad would be part of a different state. So from voting perspective, if you just look at data, it might appear as if the upper middle class people of certain communities in certain towns didn't even procreate.

There'll be demographic and sociopolitical changes also. Population growth of fewer castes growth will slow down and voter representation of fewer castes will increase. Castes, politics, power are deeply intertwined in India. I believe next elections in AP (sans Telengana) would show signs of this. I'm sure about this though, people voting for welfare schemes outnumber the voters who don't rely on welfare and pay taxes. 

There's a also a trend of families moving out of villages to towns and cities for their children's education and better lifestyle. For that, many families from farming communities are giving up agriculture. We don't know how this pans out in long run, may be farming will be corporatized like in USA. One change is already conspicuous, it became very difficult for an upper caste guy who's in farming to find a girl. Girls' parents want their daughter to have better future, so they're looking for a person with a paycheck rather than a farmer. Men in priesthood profession are also experiencing the same issue.

When youngsters leave country in prime age, they might not return but their money returns to real estate. I wrote about this before and Guntur is at the forefront of this. As apartment of equal square ft in Brindavan Gardens area of Guntur costs almost as an apartment in HITEC City area in Hyderabad. Consider the fact that there's severe water shortage and power isn't reliable. All this is cause of NRI redemptions and scarcity of living space caused by mobility from villages. Of course there're other reasons like capital speculation. A 30 year old with family, who earns a paycheck in Guntur and doesn't have access to black money, how can he afford  a home in Guntur?

Yes change is happening, but we're far from it. For NRIs, all this would be news. Personal issue is how to care for parents. This is the first generation which left country en masse, there's no example which you can follow. Two things which I'm worried about are safety & health. All the young men are leaving towns and villages, nobody will be around to ensure safety and tend to their daily needs. Western countries might've experienced this in early 20th century. But that immigration to US might not be as imbalanced as ours. Many NRIs of my age are  asking themselves the same question.

Until 2012, many people used to say or might have had serious plans about going back. After Delhi rape incident, accidents, assaults on woman and handling of state bifurcation and aftermath, many people are dropping those plans. I never planned on return, and I still don't intend to. But again, Never say Never. Whatever happening in India in AP isn't shocking to me. All that corruption, lack of law & order, is kinda like told ya. One thing still saddens me though, How little of a value is human life in India. A woman gets raped and killed, dozens die in bus and train accidents, there'll be outrage for a day or two and people move on until something else happens.

Elections have consequences. India right now looks like democracy in action, when law abiding citizens who contribute to economy, pay taxes aren't interested in exercising their voting right. People who sell their vote, live on welfare even in the prime age of 20-40s are voting and electing governments. I don't blame politicians, I blame people who didn't exercise their voting right. This is their reckoning.

Other thing which is leaving me confused is political activism among NRIs, I'm not critical, I'm more of lost about the objective. During last couple of weeks Telengana (not an issue anymore, it's a state) caused tensions among facebook friends and those spilled into real world too. I'm not gonna claim false equivalency here, you know who you're. Our money would be overpowered by corrupt money and our voice gets drowned by hired crowds, so why bother? We consciously chose to live outside the country, for the pursuit of better life and safety which is lacking in motherland. Do we've right to complain or is it our duty to reform it from outside? I'd a closer look at villages during my short visit to India in 2013. People who voted for present government are happy. Only educated upper middle class are suffering.

I might've made few wisecracks about state politics on fb, but I'm not at pain like others are. How can our contribution to Lok Satha change caste conscious voters mindset in villages or how much impact would it have? I'm not even gonna talk about AAP, that's beyond my ability to comprehend. Yes I'm cynical, but history & reality vindicate my view. I hope I'm wrong about future, but again I'm not an optimist.

Starbucks hates Shutdowns

On Oct 10, Starbucks CEO requested its patrons to sign a petition asking Congress to open the Government, pay debt and all that good stuff.

IMHO, Starbucks should stick to selling overpriced coffee, drop this false equivalency and leave the political activism to the informed public. (Starbucks fanatics, don't get angry. I'm also a patron!)

One small... sorry Tall Cafe Vanilla Frappucino Lite please!

Reason I'm angry is, Howard Schultz wants us to petition to whole congress to do it's job. Only part of Republican House Members are refusing to do their jobs and holding country hostage every few months. It's not the whole Republican party either. I call bullshit on this false equivalency.

If you look at what starbucks is asking patrons to petition, that's exactly  President pleaded Tea Party and they refused. So instead of calling out Tea Party, Starbucks CEO was telling people that Congress isn't working, which isn't true. So why not just stay quiet and President and House settle this.
 

Problem with these me too campaigns is, people fail to notice that a faction of Republicans asked for this and caused this. What Tea party blames as the threat to American Way is the ObamaCare. The healthcare law passed by Congress, upheld by Supreme Court and based on which Obama got relected. And now Congress refuses to pass budget unless healtcare law is defunded. If you look back, Democrats got majority in house in 2006. Even though they hated Iraq war, they didn't force Bush to defund that war to keep the government running. For one one thing, ObamaCare is self-funded, Congress can't defund it. Once people realized that, TeaParty changed their demand to an 1 year delay.

Surprisingly President refused to negotiate, held his ground. As there's no leverage left, Tea party backed off and Republicans potty trained adults cleaned up the mess. Government will be open until jan 15th , debt ceiling extended until Feb 7th. Mark my words, we'll be here again, sooner than we think. You might ask why? That's cause 2010 and '12 elections bought so many Tea Party freshmen into house who wouldn't even listen to their Speaker. They'd voted for repeal of ObamaCare, 46 times. Needless to say, the mandate from their districts is to rescue the country from the jaws of socialism. In their hatred for President, they're weakening the country with these shutdown threats and debt ceiling fights. So much for patriotism. Not every republican is responsible for this, only the Tea party caucus refuses to be reasonable. Below is the voting pattern in the last CR vote which ended shutdown, you can see which house member is sane and otherwise.

Fl-22, a typical gerrymandered district.
Allen West won this in 2010, but lost in 2012.

You might be wondering, don't these wingnuts fear for re-election. No they don't fear general election, they fear primaries. If they don't vote based on these party lines, PACs and Tea Party groups like Senate Conservatives Fund and Club for Growth will draft a challenger and defeat the member in primaries. Their districts are safe cause of Gerrymandering. It's a process in which state governments carefully redraw electoral district lines to remove demographics which might vote for other party. This makes these districts very safe in General elections for the parties which're in power in States.

See how bad few districts are drawn. There's no way the other party can win in these districsts. Redistricting happens every 10 years based on census. Make no mistake, both the parties does this but in 2010 Republicans pushed the envelope too far. And it's helping them. You'll be surprised how extreme it became.

Healthcare bill opponents say that we've the world's finest health care system and it doesn't require any change. We all knew it's a lie, we've read and heard many stories about pricey healthcare is in our country. Ours is the only developed country without universal healthcare. And then, we all have a personal experience or two about how insurance companies try to nickel and dime us.

The U.S. stands almost entirely alone among developed nations that lack universal health care.

Tea Party people oppose the healthcare just cause of  ideology. On a second thought no, they just hate president. Health care bill is based on personal responsibility, preached by Republicans. As I mentioned many times here, Heritage foundation is the one who invented this Individual mandate. Romney adapted it successfully in Mass. Now the same Heritage foundation opposes it as the individual mandate infringes on our Liberties. Consider it a dog whistle.

Also not to be forgotten, the billionaires who're behind this Defund ObamaCare movement. Koch Brothers. They're the one who funded this. They grew up with Libertarian ideas, nothing wrong with it. But they're also trying shape the government as per their dreams by pumping millions of dollars into elections and primaries. Small government (read as Weak government) is good for their business as they routinely run into trouble with EPA and other regulatory agencies. Not just the Tea party, they fund think tanks, opinion journalists and universities to get legitimacy to their Small Government/Free Market ideas. So far it's working.

And if you think tempers raised, Tea party Congress men wanted to please voters in their districts, it's not true. It's a process deliberated and orchestrated by outside groups for months. While the people and corporations are suffering with shutdown, Ted Cruz raised used huge haul of cash by scaring people. There're two primary Public figures in this shutdown. Rafael Edward "Ted" Cruz is the self serving Canadian born, half Cuban half Caucasian Senator from Texas. He's the one who pushed the house members into this shutdown. Then there's former Senator of South Carolina, Jim DeMint. Senate didn't provide him the platform big enough to spread his Small government message, so he resigned and took the job of Heritage Foundation's President. Once a respected conservative think tank with few ideas, is now sending emails to support the United States Government to shutdown under his direction.

 

If you stop and think, it's not about deficits or saving country for next generation. If they care for Liberty and privacy, they'll be protesting NSA. If they want an accountable government they'll be fighting to stop Obama's drone program which had granted itself  legitimacy to kill American citizens without trial. This is the seething anger that a African-American president. Few days ago, a Tea party protestor showed up at the White House with Confederate flag. That indicates that South is in control of Tea party and this isn't about Health Care. They're still bitter about loosing Civil War and they still haven't gotten over it.

So what's the end game, I don't know.  We'll be back into this by end of this year. House will be with Republicans for atleast 7 more years. But cause of changing demographics Democrats will have more chances to retain majority seats in senate. If they don't screw up, may be White house also. But again Dems know a thing or two about pulling  Defeat out of the jaws of Victory. So get used to this.

There's a glimmer of hope, US chamber of Commerce is now disappointed with Tea Party congressmen whom they supported, funded and sent to Washington. It's repenting now and is planning to support less crazy candidates in the 2014. House might still be under Republicans control, but with people who're smarter than batshit crazy Tea party members who're in control now.

They say elections have consequences, these are the consequences. Call you voter friends in South Carolina and Texas and thank them for sending these traitors to Washington.

Is a revolution overdue in India? Depends on whom you ask...

At any NRI gathering, if we're not talking about immigration or how people are suffering cause of Thaman's music, we talk about India politics. Wherever the discussion starts, we end up with corrupt AP politics, by that I mean how much wealth Jagan amassed with his father's influence, how he might come out before elections and how corrupt was YSR's administration. Some of us will proclaim that, one day a change will occur and it'll cleanse the system. Few other places and settings, it's also called a revolt or revolution.

I'm skeptical about that revolution or change...cause most of the revolutions happen when people are vexed and their lives become unbearable. If you pay attention, in India, particularly in AP, only middle class is suffering. Poor are happy with their upgraded living standards.

Yes there're poor people and poverty exists. But it's not like 80s or 90s, any poor who has vote is covered by one or more welfare scheme. In AP I can list Paniki Aaharam, Jala Yagnam, Fee Reimbursement Scheme, Bangaru Thalli, Mana Biyyam and then Aarogyasri. At central level Food Security Bill, Cash Transfer Scheme etc. As counter intuitive it sounds, it's not that bad to be poor in India.

Poor aren't struggling. They've cellphones, bikes and all other stuff which were considered as comforts 10,15 years ago. It's not like they've running water and 24 hours power supply. Consistency of life is not what's important for them. Middle class yearns for it, cause they paid their dues. What poor look out for themselves is food and shelter. No matter how much corruption exists in India, most of the poor with a vote gets these. It's good thing to be poor and born in Lower Caste. Cause you'll be benefited by poverty schemes and reservations.

But upper middle class, salaried people with professional jobs. They have to pay all kinds of taxes, as taxes are deducted at source. There's no such thing called black money...other than some money which they might've made with a real estate sale. But there's no reliable power supply, no proper roads, and no consistent supply of water. In the year of 2013, power and water became luxuries.

In Guntur, AP the place where I come from, a 3 BR apartment of standard living area goes for 1 cr. But there's no ground water, you've to buy water through tankers every day. Yes there's no ground water in Hyderabad or Vijayawada, but they've river water which is pumped to homes by Muncipal corporations. But there's no such thing for our area. The last few days, with all the bandhs you can't expect tankers to be on time.1 cr for an apartment where you don't reliable water which you're willing to pay. And when there's an unregulated industry, a cartel develops. e.g. Banglore water mafia.

Rich and wealthy, as you know they can get all the GOs passed and they're prospering. Look at all the scams Emaar, VANPIC, Bayyaram Mines, Outer Ring road. And the people who're in jail now, Koneru Rajendra Prasad, Gali Janardhana Reddy, Nimmagadda Prasad and others. All those construction projects, road widenings, mining projects gotta make somebody rich right?! It's not that all the rich are happy about this. Corruption and racketeering became so prevalent in YSR's administration that reputed business families in AP like GMR, GVK and Lanco stayed out of AP as they couldn't play by Jagan's rules. But again, being capitalists they investing elsewhere to the loss of AP. Rich didn't loose any, more of an inconvenience for them and loss of GDP for the state.

Jagan's Empire : But how much a poor voter cares

Coming back to Welfare schemes, I've relatives who got benefited by Aarogyasri. On of my distant aunts, approximately 55 year old widow had a leg fracture and got treated under Aarogyasri. Issue here is, middle class pay for all this and poor are getting benefits cause of the politicians. My aunt who's barely educated, wouldn't think who paid for this, who's becoming rich cause of this and all the economic theories. Back in the day, government hospital might not've treated her at all, but she got treatment at corporate hospital cause of Aarogyasri. That's all she cares and that's all she could. You can't explain a daily wage earner, how much govt land is lost cause of SEZs and mining lands.

Entitlements/Welfare schemes, they exists here in US also, but that money spent should at least be budgeted for. Social Security and Medicare operate that way. But Medicaid wasn't. Food Stamps  budgeted for. But in AP, I don't think it's a problem, NTR might've started Rs.2 rice with good intentions but he never cared for budget. YSR started most number of populist schemes, nobody cared for budget as liquor sales are paying the bills, and it made his friends and followers extremely rich

Most of the Telugu NRIs who despise YSR have a level of disconnect about Aarogyasri. Yes, it's cronyism, but poor got benefited by it and they'll vote for his son. Same with fee reimbursement. More people are getting false income statements to get that fee. Middle class are the one who pay for all these, rich they'll never pay their fair share. cause most of the income is never accounted for. Poor would never have any income that can taxed, other than the sales taxes which they pay.

Usually we blame politicians for all the problems. but voters are never blamed. Voters are the culprits here. (In US you can blame candidates first, as they take bribes, oops..I mean contributions from corporations for their PACs) I've seen last panchayati elections closely. Villagers expect money from all the contestants. In a moderate village, almost 50 lakhs was spent. The person who won the election, he expects that money, interest and profit from his term. And how would he get that money back? Development funds. How can villagers ask for better roads, power or drains if they're sold out.
This repeats for Assembly, Parliament, Cabinet etc.

Poor are always well engaged with voting. By that I means, they'll vote for highest bidder. Upper middle class are always disengaged. To vote, they need to register for vote, which many wouldn't. But again they don't have much choice. You've Congress or TDP candidate, most probably both of them entered politics to make money. If you're from lower caste in India, you're very well represented. if you belong to an upper caste but poor, tough luck.

If you look at the immigration patterns in western countries, more than ever..very big number of educated and working Indian youngsters are living outside the country. And those are votes which aren't cast. It's not to imply that people living abroad are smarter than people living in India. These votes could've tilted results of many constituencies where the winning margin was low.

Here in US, people of all economic classes, corporations are engaged in politics. Rich to protect their lower taxes and poor to protect their entitlements. Of course there's a set of people who vote against their interests, like a hedge fund manager's social conscious wife who votes for democrats and a poor plant worker in red state  who votes for republican. Why, cause it's the right thing to do. Middle class get swayed by social issue/culture wars that year. Gay marriage, Abortion, Immigration..

The lowest strata of the society is happy with the way things are. Affluent are prospering even more. A change or mass movement usually comes from these two. With poor it's genuine and rich can orchestrate a AstroTurf campaign or use hired goons. And upper middle class they've jobs to do, spouses and kids to go home to. They need their salaries to pay for their house, car, kids education and all other. There's no energy or drive left for these. That could be one of the reasons why the Anna Hazare movement lost its steam. There's political spinoff by name Aam Aadmi Party, but I don't know how effective it would be.

There's one way this could end, when governments run  out of money for  these welfare programs. In AP I've seen these schemes in full swing since 2004, they haven't stopped until now. As long as India can borrow and taxable base increases, this will go on.

With the complacency of middle class and the entitlements of poor and luxurious lives of rich, I don't see a incentive/opportunity for any change. Poor doesn't want anything taken away from them. Rich are happy at where they're. Who cares if politicians are corrupt, about their nepotism, cronyism or how much public wealth is plundered.

I used almost 1500 words for this, but Sri Gollapudi Maruti Rao said this more effectively in 2 minutes.in Leader movie.

 

Unlike other arguments, I'd like to be proven wrong about this.

But I just don't know how I can lose on this.

Circle of Life

Losing my Grandfather - Sri Kongara Adinarayana garu

11 years in USA, I'd always dreaded a call from India in off hours in US or India Time. And that call came on Tuesday 06/25 around 4:20PM. My dad told me that Tatayya had passed away few hours back. I took me few seconds for that to sink in. Called my sister and aunt. There's grief, but no overbearing sadness or shock, out of sight, out of mind! At least I found some solace that he didn't suffer long, as this is a sudden demise.

As one of my uncles told me, we had a quiet decade in which we didn't lose anybody close. I lost a paternal aunt in 1996, maternal grandparents in 1999 and 2001 and my Chinnayanamma in 2001. (Grand Aunt in American parlance) I was in college, and those deaths didn't hit me as hard it had hit me now. We're lot more euphoric in teens and 20s.

My grandfather used to visit us in Guntur frequently more times than we went to village. We always liked his company as he always had a tinge of humor and ironical tone. When you grow up in a town, simple colloquial words from village make you laugh out loud. Even words like kalam(కలం) make you crack. Whenever I say subrathiga (శుభ్రతిగ), one of my Tatayya's words, my parents chuckle.

Myself and sister with Tatayya in Paluvayi, 1988

He is a man of big physique and widely respected and well known in our and neighboring villages. The number of people of who showed up for his funeral and other ceremonies showed how revered he was. He had seen many ups and downs in his life. He used to fondly show a watch which I'd sent him to all his friends, relatives and tell them how much it costs. When you come from a farming community and small village, a grandson going to USA for studies, it's a proud thing to tell. Today it feels like I didn't live up to his expectations. But again, I didn't live up to many people's expectations. That's for another day.

I was the first child in my generation in our family and neighboring families with our last name, so I was always special to my Grandfather. Being the first child born in the family after my Great Grandfather had expired, I was initially named after him..
Kongara China Venkayya, Venkata Krishna

2009/12/28 - Paluvayi, Guntur Dt

I never got a chance or moment to just burst into tears and break out loud about his, even though there's a feeling of loss which chokes me. This is my kind of obituary or remembrance.
Whatever we're today, it's because of you Tatayya. We miss you.
Rest in Peace.

Bit of introspective now.
Close friends know me as a cynical person who's always worried about almost non-existential things. Fear of losing a loved one is always in the back of my mind. But last few years, I'd a bubble around me and I'd made a cushy life inside that. Bubble made of Travel, reading Times, WSJ, fb, onion, gawker, online shopping, cars and I rationalized all this with my immigration hassles. Even though I'm self aware of my actions, I'm happy burning my time in analyzing news, making wisecracks in fb and basking in narcissistic glow.

In a way, this brought me back into reality. I don't know how this plays out from here.