Sunday, November 27, 2011

My Christmas Wish

TIME magazine is famous for dumbing down the news coverage and there's no bigger contrarian indicator than their cover page.


Every new Warner Brothers movie gets a cover story, every apple device launch gets one, and if there's dearth of publicist driven stories...there's holy Mary, Jesus to fall back on.

Fine, every magazine does the same thing, wait....there's Housing bubble, what housing bubble?
There's no year-end media circus event which is more idiotic and unimportant than the TIME person of the year. (Excluding TIME 100, that's beyond my intellectual ability). Every President elect will be chosen as TIME person of the year, that's a default. Enemies of US, no matter how much they changed the course of our lives, wouldn't be the person of the year. Osama bin Laden wasn't the person of that year, Rudy Giuliani was. (Of course Stalin and Hitler were exceptions, not quite sure where we stand on Putin though). See the previous person gallery here

As God is my witness (intended to dramatize), here's the list of probable people I wrote for this year, before checking TIME website.

Arab Uprisings
Occupy Wall St
Anonymous
Navy seals
Barack Obama
Grover Norquist
Steve Jobs
Kim Kardashian
Rupert Murdoch

I checked TIME website and they didn't disappoint. Below are the few people who're nominated for this year, and I'm delighted to see Kim on the list

Usually TIME probables can be broadly categorized into these
Obvious picks
Barack Obama
Anonymous
Navy Seal Team 6
1%, 99%
Steve Jobs

Lame picks
Gabriel Giffords (I don't mean to diminish the Congress Woman's shooting, but she's only a victim of a deranged person's shooting)
Kate Middleton (A British woman married to a British prince, 2nd in line to throne)
Dominique Strauss-Kahn (accused of raping a hotel maid, but prosecution dropped the charges)
Charlie Sheen

"Who the F is this again" picks
Recep Tayyip Erdogan (Turkey's PM)
Lionel Messi (Argentina's soccer player)
Ai Weiwei

"Intended to rage readers" picks
Reed Hastings (Netflix CEO, who have a knack for splitting companies and sending emails to all the subscribers after having too many drinks)
Casey Anthony
Michele Bachmann
Rupert Murdoch
Kim Kardashian

The last section is the reason why I love TIME. Just for the web hits, robo voting...they'll let people vote for their choice, even though Time's contributors pick the person. the panel for this year is very diversified(for the lack of better word)..Brian Williams, Mario Batali, Anita Hill, Jesse Eisenberg, Grover Norquist and Seth Meyers.

I'm appalled that heavy weights like Miley Cyrus, Taylor Swift and Sarah Palin aren't on list, I'm gonna weep to sleep tonight. Meh, my intellectual inspiration Rep. Michele Bachmann is here..I'll take it.

Folks I'll cut to the chase, I want Kim Kardashian to be the new Person of the year. Please TIME, please! She's the epitome of the moral bankruptcy of the American culture, that is putting very mildly. She got everything you're looking for. No real talent in whatsoever form, sex tape, reality show, perfume, overpriced clothing, paid appearances, discontinued charge card, dimwitted athlete husband. Wait there're spin off reality shows for her sisters and other family members also.

She divorced her second husband with in the span of 72 days and that tipped off the Public. They actually believed that the fairy tale wedding was real and they'll live together ever after. Now they all feet cheated, they're angered and outraged that she took' em all for a ride.

Please TIME, keep it real, and make this woman the Person of the year.
(Don't mind the 19220 haters who voted against her, haters gonna hate)

Peace.

P.S. For what it's worth, time predicted the next president right. It's a kinda bold move for 2006, as Spitzer/Obama was perceived as hot ticket at that time and then Eliot Spitzer got caught in a sex scandal.

Update 12/03/2011
There's one more media event, which is more trivial and idiotic than this. It's the year-end sex surveys in Indian news magazines. For some reason, they do it every year and each year it's shocking. India Today just released theirs and Outlook might send one our way pretty soon.
Here's BBC's Indian Correspondent's column about this topic.

images via TIME

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